My Mom was a very loving mother, but unbeknownst to her, she was terribly misguided by the brainwashing of diet culture.
She was always on or off a diet.
When I was six, she joined a weight loss group that met in a local church basement—similar to AA meetings—except they got weighed and discussed food plans and tips for losing weight.
And for whatever reason, she transferred her newfound knowledge to me—a first grader.
My mom weighed me daily.
If I lost a pound, I got a plus sign on a chart. If I gained a pound, I got an oval shaped “goose egg.”
I was introduced to food rules and rituals. I was sent to school with a Thermos of wilted lettuce, hard boiled egg slices, diced ham, and Catalina salad dressing poured over it; plus, half a grapefruit. (By lunchtime, the contents of that Thermos were a lukewarm, soggy mess.) The full story of how that early exposure to diet culture fueled an eating disorder is in my book, STARVED TO OBESITY.
For a six-year-old’s developing brain and body, there was nothing sensible about putting me on a diet whatsoever. The chronic food scarcity damaged every part of me, including my mental health.
My mom didn’t know that I was already predisposed to developing an eating disorder as a result of an inability to adequately process thoughts and feelings. (Which I didn’t learn until many years later.)
Then, I married young—to a husband full of childhood trauma and toxic baggage—who pressured me into diet culture further. That unfortunate story is in my book as well.
Gradually, the internal and external pressure to always be a certain size took a toll on my physical health and mental well-being. . . even many years later as a weight loss success story.
What started out as the wonderful freedom to intuitively eat reasonable and satisfying amounts of food for the first time in my life—eventually shifted back to the scarcity mentality of diet culture: rigid food rules, rituals, and striving to be a body size I was unable to achieve without extreme measures. (I published that story recently on my blog: How Being a Weight Loss Success Story Triggered an Eating Disorder.)
I had no idea that being a weight loss success story would potentially open the door wide open to a full blown eating disorder, until I was once again trapped in it.
. . .what started off as an art exhibit to get my health back; quickly turned into a Miss America pageant, and I was one of the contestants.
Thus, igniting my passion to create an online course: “How to Escape Food Addiction and Compulsive Eating Without Falling Prey to the Pitfalls of Diet Culture.”
I’m taking a deep dive into the nitty-gritty aspects of scarcity mentality, diet culture, public scrutiny, body dysmorphia, eating disorders (some call it “emotional eating/stress eating”—there’s less stigma with using that language), and how to overcome the pitfalls of all of it.
And, it’s time to uncover the guilt, shame, and stigma attached to eating disorders/emotional eating head on. (Have you ever avoided social events, because you gained weight? Have you ever cancelled a doctor’s appointment, because you didn’t want the embarrassment of being weighed? I’ve done both many times! The shame is intense.)
Eating disorders are the deadliest mental illness, second only to opioid overdoses.
Let that sink in.
Not to mention nearly 30% of eating disorder sufferers attempt suicide.
Forty percent of males, and sixty percent of females suffer from them. . . and that number is significantly underreported.
People with eating disorders are highly intelligent, highly driven, sensitive, empathetic, compassionate, perfectionistic, and industrious. . . when they aren’t sidelined by the complicated illness. They just have a hard time adequately processing their thoughts and emotions, along with some other obstacles to overcome.
Many people with an active eating disorder—especially binge eating or bulimia—join weight loss programs. . . .whether those programs are focused on health or not.
They incorrectly assume they’ll resolve their underlying disordered eating patterns with restrictive dieting: food rules and rituals, rigorous and highly disciplined boot camps, resets, detoxes, fasts, weight loss challenges, and the like.
They’ll even undergo drastic and risky procedures in order to change the size of their bodies.
My focus is on eating again—and honoring my body’s needs—instead of NOT eating.
I’m back to eating intuitively again, which has freed me from the all-consuming trap of “scarcity mentality” once more.
I’ll tell about my tipping point. . . and how I got to this place of freedom again via my online course.
I’m ready to tell all.
It is possible to successfully escape food addiction, compulsive eating, and nourish the body--without opening the trap door to diet culture. . .that invariably opens the door to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders.
However, many healthcare providers aren’t providing proper instruction. The patient is handed a diet to solve everything.
For instance, years ago, when I went to a family doctor, he wrote “obese” on my medical chart.
Even though it was obvious I was suffering, there were no recommendations for me to see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. (One doesn’t typically gain one hundred pounds without something deeper driving the overeating behavior.)
Even today, healthcare providers still have a complete disconnect between significant and ongoing weight fluctuations (yo-yoing) and a possible underlying eating disorder.
In fact, some providers are unknowingly fueling the illness and making it worse by using shame-based language and prescribing weight loss diets and pills.
Not to mention, the thousands of social media influencers and marketers in the health and wellness industry who are compounding diet culture; inadvertently, further contributing to the disordered eating epidemic in America.
I’m so over all of it.
Why not just publish another book?
Because this time, I want to be able to interact with my audience—and that can’t be done via the pages of a book.
It is possible to eat intuitively again—without strict food rules and rituals; without scarcity mentality; without joining another diet group, weight loss boot camp or challenge, detox, or reset--and get your health and sanity back again.
There is a way out of both food addiction and eating disorders, and I’ll show you the way.
I want to invite you into the full disclosure of my story—so that you may discover, understand, and learn the practical steps to escape both traps.
I’m in the midst of creating the course now. If you’d like to be notified when it’s ready, please share your email address in the space provided below.
I’m looking forward to interacting with you!
Here’s to your freedom!
Emily Boller, artist, mother, and author of Starved to Obesity, lost 100 pounds more than fifteen years ago by eating an abundance of high-nutrient, plant-rich foods. Today, she’s certified in whole plant nutrition from the Nutritarian Education Institute. She’s on a mission to combine practical, no-nonsense and cost-effective tips—with easy to understand science—in order to help anyone escape the addictive grip of the Standard American Diet. And now, she’s on a mission to bring awareness to the suffocating and potentially deadly trap of eating disorders as well.