Breaking the Silence
Today, I’m breaking the silence.
I was a weekly blogger for Joel Fuhrman, M.D. for nearly five years; and then in 2014, I just couldn’t write or speak publicly anymore.
I had hit a wall.
On Memorial Day, 2012, my 21-year-old son had died by suicide, and I was trying my best to be strong and keep going as if nothing had happened.
In fact, the day after the funeral I was back to blogging every week — to thousands of readers — and two months later I was traveling and speaking again. I wanted to prove my resilience
. . . until I couldn’t do it anymore.
I had fallen apart on the inside and wearing makeup and a smile on my face could no longer conceal the pain.
And, that’s where I’ll begin this new blog . . . my blog.
In a nutshell, in the summer of 2008 I began a journey to get my health back. I never intended to be an inspirational blogger or speaker. In fact, I didn’t even know what a blog was back then.
I had been busy in the trenches of rearing five children for nearly two decades and didn’t have a portable device or laptop. I had a PC and knew how to use Word document and connect to the Internet, and that was about it. I didn’t even know how to cut and paste.
I had lost 100 pounds that year, and soon afterward, Dr. Fuhrman asked me to write 500 words about my favorite vegetable for his blog. I submitted my writing and his audience of readers enjoyed it.
Then he asked if I could submit more writings, and once again, his readers enjoyed them.
It was fun, but I didn’t consider myself to be a blogger — until an Internet troll entered the picture.
The troll was disguised as four males and five females and began posting mean and nasty comments about my posts. This continued for three months, and I almost quit several times throughout that period of time.
I think readers started following my posts just to view the nasty comments! This one person created the nine false names and used them to criticize me. All nine identities were traced to the same Internet address.
Eventually, the troll was exposed and the derogatory comments immediately stopped.
What started out as a simple writing about my favorite vegetable snowballed into writing a weekly post on Dr. Fuhrman’s public blog for more than four years.
With Dr. Fuhrman as my editor to make sure the scientific part of my writings were accurate, I wrote about everything related to food addiction recovery.
I consider him to be my mentor — not only in teaching me everything I know about nutrition, achieving optimal health, and food addiction recovery — but he is also the one responsible for throwing me into the deep end of the blogging world to learn how to swim.
I’m a blogger today because of him.
I also interviewed many individuals who had gotten their health back. My favorite part of those interviews were sharing their success tips with the readers.
Then I started traveling and speaking at Dr. Fuhrman’s health retreats, in churches, on TV, and anywhere I was invited to share my story and inspire others — until I smashed into that wall I mentioned above.
I gradually lost my voice as anguish and sorrow seeped in and paralyzed my brain.
Trauma, grief, and incredible loss will do that to a person.
But, thankfully, it didn’t last forever.
I did get through it — eventually — but at the time it seemed like the searing pain and confusion would last forever.
My son’s death was more than five years ago now.
My broken heart has healed considerably in that span of time.
Now I am ready to share what I’ve learned; not only about escaping food addiction and emotional eating, but what I’ve learned concerning the impact of trauma and grief on addiction recovery as well.
(One doesn’t have to experience the traumatic death of a loved one in order to experience deep, emotional pain. Any profound loss: loss of a job, loss of financial security, loss of health, or marriage, or a close relationship can impact one’s emotional health.)
And, of course, I will be sharing other parts of my life with you too . . . everything from my current art projects to my two furry grandogs, Libby and Fern.
Whoever you are, whether you are struggling to hold life together in the midst of addiction or you’re a concerned person wanting to know how to help someone you care about . . . let me offer my experience, guidance, hope, and motivation as we journey through this blog together.
Peace to you.